heaven knows

my life in grey

end of the walk

nonsense crapped by pearly wishful thoughts (2)

I really have the sign "PLEASE FRAME ME" on my forehead.

I got blamed for something I didn't do, twice today. I'm highly, 100% sure, that I didn't do it...either of it. But somehow, all the fingers still point back to me for some reason. And at the end of the day I'm owning up to and saying sorry for something that I'm so sure it wasn't my fault, in hopes that it will make things better.

And yeah, I've changed. I don't know in what way myself...seeing as I'm the owner of this mind, heart and soul. But if people insists that I've changed, then I have nothing to say.

Yeah,....
I don't let people walk over me now. I learn to stand up for myself.

Yeah,....
I worry a whole lot about my education than my student council work now.

Yeah,....
I can't stand people scolding me unneccessarily, especially when I can avoid it.

Yeah,....
I say sorry for the things that I did not do.

You're right. I have changed.


At the end of this walk, no doubt I still love my committees to bits no matter what happened before, but...
To all my committees,
I'm sorry that I was an uncapable leader and failed in performing my duties. Truly sorry.

nonsense crapped by pearly wishful thoughts (0)

R.I.P. to Michael Jackson. No matter what people have said about him or charged him for, he'll always be the legendary King of Pop. His songs have always been impactful to people's lives and they will always be.

The final bid goodbye to the King of Pop. No one can fill in those shoes.

I'm still contemplating on what to do for my final year. Argh~!!! Can't seem to make up my mind on 1 thing. So, here I am stuck with making a decision for my future.

And....I think time really changes a person. That one person that I've recently met up with has changed in a lot of ways. And the change is for the better although some things still remains the same.

*yawns* Lights out, bed time. Super sleepy now....

nonsense crapped by pearly wishful thoughts (0)

I think this is a very good song that stands up for abused women.

How Come, How Long ~ Babyface
There was a girl I used to know
She was oh so beautiful
But she's not here anymore
She had a college degree
Smart as anyone could be
She had so much to live for
But she fell in love
With the wrong kind of man
He abused her love and treated her so bad
There was not enough education in her world
That could save the life of this little girl
How come, how long
It's not right, it's so wrong
Do we let it just go on
Turn our backs and carry on
Wake up, it's too late
Right now, we can't wait
She won't have a second try
Open up your hearts
As well as your eyes
She tried to give a cry for help
She even blamed things on herself
But no one came to her aid
Nothing was wrong as far as we could tell
That's what we'd like to tell ourselves
But no, it wasn't that way
So she fell in love
With the wrong kind of man
And she paid with her life
For loving that man
So we cannot ignore
We must look for the signs
And maybe next time
We can save somebody's life
I on occasion met that guy
He stirred up bad feelings deep inside
Something about him wasn't right
The way he proved himself a man
By beating his woman with his hands
Oh I wish she'd seen the light
How can someone like that
Call himself a man
In reality he's far more less than that
And we cannot ignore
Whenever we see the signs
Cause any kind of abuse
God knows isn't right

nonsense crapped by pearly wishful thoughts (0)

When is this all going to end??.... Although I'm able to take it all in, but I'm human too right? Oh wait...I remember, I'm made of steel and have no feelings. Right, that's it. Ok...go ahead and keep framing me. I "ENJOY" it so damn much.

Just when I'm loosening my grip on things, they flip. Nice. Time for more alco... Time to go back to the old ways again.

Don't feel like sleeping tonight. But I think the slight alcohol is helping. Gonna drown in journals and toxicology now...

I seriously have 1 lecturer who is mental!!!

First, she asks us for comments and feedback about her teaching and etc. And, she SAID that she won't fail us what-so-ever based on what we say. After a moment of silence and no one dares to say anything... She said, "No matter what you all say, I already have my justifications."

WTF!! So what is the whole point of asking us the dumb question and wasting our time? Oh right...the whole point was to WASTE OUR TIME!!!

I almost threw my phone at the wall just now. Why? 'Cause messages can't seem to stop coming in. Just when I want to concentrate to do my report, the phone keeps buzzing of messages coming in. And, I lose my train of thoughts for what to write.

Now you know, that you shouldn't sms me when I'm doing my work or else I'll end up getting awfully frustrated and I might just blow up.

Yes, I need some anger management classes now. All my "ganas-ness" is coming back.

Note: If you sms me at night and find that the message can't get through, then you'll know that I've switched off my phone.

Now At The End

nonsense crapped by pearly wishful thoughts (0)

My term as Student Council Chairman is coming to an end. There's like few weeks left to it. More precisely... 2 more weeks, then I'll be acting Chairman only. Hmm...there's sort of a mixed feeling in this matter. Well, I got to do what I got to do. And after this...I'm not wanted anymore. Haha!! Back to mundane life after that.

Now, at the end of this road....

Can I say that I've done my best?
Can I say that I've achieved something during my term?
Can I say that I've learned lots?
Can I say that I've become a better person from all this?

Have things made me wiser?
Have they made me smarter than before?

Did I do what was needed and expected of me?
Did I accomplish what I started out to achieve?

With all that...

I'm just hoping that...

I'll be able to hear the sound of applauses as I take a bow from my final scene.


Life in my own colours and music

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