heaven knows

As the month of December draws near, I feel like I have more and more things on my mind. Not nonsense la. But stuff to do. Youth camp, Orientation Committee meetings, arrangements and rehersals. Not to mention, I was suppose to start reading up on my anatomy and physiology and also my metabolic biochemistry. I predict the metabolic biochemistry to be the death of me for the next semester. Sigh. Feeling hopeless for my top score already even before the term starts. Well, at least things will keep me 'running' all the time and I won't have to stop to 'feel'. Yeah....

Went to some traditional massage place today. Parents took me there right after church cause my shoulders were aching for like more than a week already. Signs of old age man. The moment the woman started, it was like.....ahhhh!!!!! PAINFUL!!!! Then she went on to rub my backbone and I got bad news. Apparently, the woman feels my backbone to be slightly curved compared to normal people's backbone which is straight. First bad news. Then, she rubbed the lower part of my backbone which I injured before. DIE!!!! Indescribable pain. She advised me to get an x-ray on my back cause that part of the backbone might be prone to infection or some sort like that due to the shape of my backbone, friction and stuff. That was the second bad news. Then she told my mom. And now mom is considering to send me for x-ray and to get a medical opinion and treatment, whether it's surgery or anything, if possible. But I told her I'm fine.....it didn't work. Mom still thinks going for x-ray is the best thing to do now. And.....also stopping my taekwondo. Third bad news. My hopes crushed to pieces....like instantly.

I'm very very willing...highly willing.....to drop dead now....yeah, like NOW. And go back to Him.