heaven knows

Just got home from a gathering with the taekwondo group. After such a long time, we finally have a gathering again. And everyone turned up. Good in some ways, bad in some ways. Got to see my sir's new house. Air-cond everywhere. I just can't imagine how much he'll have to pay for electricity every month. 5 of us that got there early went fooling around in a nearby park and got attacked by blood-thirsty mosquitoes. They were HUGE! As in seriously huge compared to the ones you see in your house. Reminded me of the mosquitoes during prefect camp. Mutated mosquitoes man. Got to see all the old faces in the gathering. But I didn't want to see 'him'. Seriously. Although it's a long time ago, but nevertheless, it's still an uncomfortable spot that just lurks there. And I hate to say this, but it's really permanent, it's not temporary. Because of YOU, I lost all confidence in doing anything. And I forgot to say thank you for doing that. No matter what people say, I guess it's just me. I'm unable to see it as though nothing happened.

And... no matter what anyone says about 'that' matter, it still remains the same in me. I'm not the C4(at least I think it's a C4 plant) plant that Pn. Daisy used to call my class...the plant that sways in the direction that the wind blows it.

After tonight, I really want to go back for training. Only this time, I'm not going to worry about any injuries or whatever that might break. 'Since nothing's there for me anymore', am not going to bother much bout this body of mine. Bend it and break it. Going all out in HOPES to achieve my 2nd Dan.