heaven knows

my life in grey

With all the tests and quizes out of the way, preparation for finals is finally here. The test today was horrible...horrigible I tell you. Don't know how else to explain it already.
So, everyone is prepping up for the finals. Crucial moment. All the last minute work, studying and revision. This is when the pressure really builds up. Plus, my finals timetable this time is totally screwed. So I'm being prepared to go crazy in the last moments.

After the test today, I'm pretty much relaxed. I HAVE to relax or not I'll just go bonkers. Am already lack of sleep. Mental retardation on the way. I somehow feel like I'm getting stupider by the day. Everything that I read, seems like some greek to me. Either that or I'm just really tired to be able to absorb anymore of those stuff.

And all of a sudden, mom hit me with a question. I'm not going to reveal what was the question, but, it got me to open my eyes big and wide eventhough I'm feeling so lethargic and tired now. Currently, I'm still unable to answer. Still weighing the situation with no luck of going anywhere.

I seriously have no idea whether to say that today is a sort of unlucky day or what. I was on my way back from uni like few hours ago at around 11.45pm. Out of nowhere, there was a police road block. Guess what? I was asked to pull over. To my understanding and from what I remember, I did not speed or break any road laws. So I had no idea why they stop me. The first thing the policeman told me was that I was driving 93km/h...which is not true, I was driving 80km/h. Then he asked me "so, nak bantu tak?". Truthfully, I didn't know what he meant. But after the 2nd time he asked me the same question, I know that it meant bribery, corruption, transaction course...whatever. So I just acted blur and asked him to issue the summon...yeah, stupid I know. I'm anti-corruption for your info. Hehe... I guess the dude must have felt bad...or, he's so impressed with me being anti-corruption, and he asked me to drive off without giving me a summon. So yeah... hahaha... It helps to be blur in times like this.

And so, I'm finally back from Global Youth Symposium '08. It was great besides the forums being worse than lectures. But some of the speakers were good. Met lots of people there, from Indonesia, Thailand, Singapore, Taiwan, Hong Kong/China, Vietnam, Philippines, Kenya, Nigeria, Pakistan, India and of course, Malaysia. My roommate was a Taiwanese girl...really cute, especially when she's so small size. Makes me feel like I'm overgrown. Anyhow, had a rather good time there mixing with different people. I met crazy people who get high on chocolate as well. But the overall experience is irreplaceable. You'd think that in things like this, the food will sort of suck, but, the food was good. Especially on the first night and the last night. I so happen to know the food coordinator. Haha... Anyways, I'll let the pictures do the talking.
The people I mixed with the most throughout the whole symposium and get crazy with. Us againThis is my roomie, the Taiwanese girl. You can see how small size she is that I have to bend down. Haha...but she's cute.
I don't know if you can see him. Haha...he's gonna kill me for this. This is Abdi, he's a Kenyan.

This is my discussion group (environmental responsibilities). We have Malaysian, Singaporean, Kenyan and Indonesian.

Us from bus 2. *forgive my sleepiness*

Me, Yi Ning with Grace. We were in Rumah Hope doing charity by spending time with the kids.

This is Eric (Singaporean), Jie Ying and May.

Me and Rufus

Us in KLCC with one of the security guard. We were trying to convince him to arrest our dear participants who were lying down on the floor. Yes, in the middle of KLCC!! Initiated by UTAR's own Tjun Kong. Unfortunately, it didn't work.

And for the last day of the event; before, during and after dinner.....

Next to me is Zhao Long who is a China citizen but is studying in Hong Kong at the moment. And far right is Emily, my roomie again.

Yung Tat (committee), me and Yi Ning

Albert (Indonesian Chinese), me and Yi Ning

Us with Christine and Adam from the organizing committee

My Guardian Angel...in the angel and mortal game. I feel so bad cause he had to tip toe to be of the same height as me for this pic. Haha...

My mortal, Jia Xian...he's the treasurer for this event by the way. And our common interest....tennis. Hehe

Me and Janice

Me and Will (committee)

Abdi, Felicita and mua

Teik Chuan

Conrad

And of course, not forgetting, my own UTAR student reps

Tjun Kong

Chi Wei

So, I consider this trip a fruitful one although I came back with somethings in mind. Haha... I noticed a lot of things as well during this period of time, evaluate and reevaluate some things, and at some point got myself into a confused state. Haha... And I learned...to have a "diplomatic" smile...a standardise one. It's essential. Haha...

It's back to the mundane life once again with lots of work to be done. Actually there's a test in a few hours time and I'm still able to blog. The life of being busy once again.

Okay, I'm suppose to be finishing off my report now which is due tomorrow. But I decided to blog anyways XD

After a rather long time, I managed to get myself back to church. Obviously thanks to God for freeing up my time and allowing me to go back to Him. Actually I went with sort of a troubled mind...filled with things to ponder and to think about. But the moment I got to church, I saw my church friends and all the people whom I haven't seen in a while due to my hectic schedule. I thought, "okay, I'll leave those matters aside for a while and not interfere with me praising God". I got to say, although I'm feeling sleepy and tired today, I could really feel God's presence rather strongly today. I really feel renewed and refreshed. The wonders God can do in your life if You let Him....truly great.


Yesterday was a slightly crazy and impromptu day. Had an informal discussion with some of the participants for the Global Youth Symposium (GYS) in pyramid, of course, including my own uni's student reps. 3 of us went in the name of UTAR...cheh...sound so big. Haha. And...the difference is obvious between us and the normal chairs of societies from other unis...really obvious. Luckily we pulled the discussion back into a fruitful discussion or else we would have sat there for more than 3 hours and come up with nothing. Can't afford to waste time like that. Not wise. And so, we managed to end it swiftly after we decided that the 1 and half hours talking and voicing out of ideas was going nowhere. Rather relieved...at least we have something. After that, lunch and movie. Let me tell you that although the current Star Wars movie in cinemas is an animation, its quite alright to watch in cinemas. I've ACCIDENTLY tested the movie thanks to someone. No regrets...really. Maybe it depends on who you're watching with too...so be smart. Haha..

After Star Wars, dinner time. Actually its dinner and talk time. Haha...but it was good. And then we went for the 2nd movie which wasn't part of the initial plan. Parents bought extra ticket so free movie. Of course go right? Can't afford to be stupid in such situations. Dark Knight is really really worth watching and deserves the awards that it has gotten. The late Heath Ledger was really good. I'm really impressed...so sad that he's gone =( But I got to say...2 movies in 1 day especially in TGV pyramid is sort of a stupid idea for people like me. I couldn't feel my legs after the 2nd movie.

Oh.... After Star Wars, while I was in the toilet washing my hands, a guy accidently walked into the ladies' toilet and stoned there for 5 seconds before realising he's in the wrong toilet. And he said, "oh f***!!!". Haha...so guys, open your eyes big and wide to look at the signs. Or else you'll be mistaken for a pervert.

GYS is in 2 days time. Planning to go there late to show Malaysians' good time keeping skills. Haha...Actually I'm just lazy to replace my lab with another group tomorrow so I'll just go back to my own group. I heard that there are 41 foreign universities going. Ooo....

Will blog more after GYS and probably with pics if I manage and remember to get any. Haha...

OMG...UTAR has got to be freaking kidding me. My finals timetable is whacked, crazy, absurd, proposterous....INSANE!!!! How can they squeeze everything into the miserable 2 weeks time? And almost all my subjects are back to back. Oh God...I can feel myself fainting and dying when I sit for my 2nd last paper. Now I have to resume the super nerd mode. I'm even planning to bring along my books to study during the youth conference thing which will last for 5 days. Really going all out crazy now to pull up my grades by all means necessary...

Thou will not succumb to all the surrounding madness!!!......halfway succumb-ing now....SWT

And so...Clinical Biochem test 2 is finally over. I have no idea whether I should feel happy and relieved about it or sad cause it sort of indicates that finals is nearing. I shall wait for the finals....confirm worse.

Somehow....I'm emotionless now. Literally unable to show any form of emotion. I think this brain of mine has stopped processing the emotions part. Don't ask me why cause I'm trying to find out why myself. I'm sort of linking it to the studying part. And to think that smoking and whatsoever kills. Studies is the no.1 killer of them all.

I feel like I'm in a condition like....I can see the horizon and I can feel it but I can never reach it. I don't know if it makes sense.

As the title says, it is now past midnight. All the studying and doing reports...so... sigh. Anyways, I'll be having a tennis thingy for the sports carnival in like few hours time. Still not sleeping yet although I have to wake up at around 6.30am.

Yesterday and today has really got me wondering how in the world am I going to finish up so many things at the same time. Going to turn robotic soon. Even robots malfunction and overheat. Hmm... Can't think much. Blocked brain. At times, I'm able to respond quickly. Most of the time, I'm not able to respond quickly. So yeah...

After this coming week will be the Global Youth Symposium 2008. Have to prepare some stuff for it and I haven't thought about the essay thing yet. Oh God... Imagine having to stay in UM hostel for 5 freaking days!! Truly disasterous. I can't bear the thoughts of it. I'll just go there and except whatever stupid things that's going to happen. And...I have to pack all my formal clothes into my luggage. Confirm crumple and messy once I take it out to wear during the event. Have to come up with alternative...sigh. How?? How?? How??!! Each uni has to prepare a presentation for our country some more. Either dance or sing..whatever. How?? How?? How??!! We also have to prepare souveniors for the other participants for exchanging purposes which until now we haven't look into it yet. How?? How?? How??!!

Die lo. GG lo. Jump out from building lo. Some more how??

Okay. Although it's awfully late and I just got back after a long and tiring day, I still want to blog. Hahaha...madness.

I went for the Festival of Minds opening ceremony today. Thanks to those other 3 SRs who abandoned me, I had to go alone. Yeesh... But, the speech by Dr. Ling Liong Sek(think that's how you spell his name) and Dr. Ng Yen Yen was rather good and inspiring. Truly the result of going for the talk by their mentor (forgotten his name). I had to fly off early due to my stupid moral test. And so, I drove to the nearest LRT station to take the train down to Setapak. I parked in Menara Axis which cost me RM2.00 per freaking hour. Bloody ripoff. I went on nicely to take the train down and halfway through, I realised the most important thing of all. I didn't bring my purse!! Yeah...Thank God, my uni friend helped me and she's my saviour for the day. Once again, I had to take the test earlier than everyone else so that I can get back to PJ as fast as possible to minimise my parking cost, which came up to RM10.00 anyways. Then, I met up with Gracie and Chan for tea time(lunch for me) to kill time, and proceeded on to sitting stupidly in Starbucks and wait for the rest to come.

The informal meeting among us was long and I don't know whether to sum it up as fruitful or not. But, the dinner was great.

In the past few days time including today, I learnt and seen and got to know of people that I've never thought I would somehow be more or less close to. And surprisingly, we have bonded together quite well. It's amazing to see all the campus reps being so close I would say. I definitely didn't expect that. Today's meeting and dinner was a kick off to a lot of new things to come that we plan to achieve together, not as individual campuses, but as a uni in whole. I highly encourage this sort of meetings in the future although it drags on till quite late. In just one day, I find that I have learnt a lot from different people. Not only do we discuss and share about our respective SRC stuff, but we can have casual empty talks as well. Even a plan for a holiday together is on the way. Satisfaction level very high now. Haha...

As a stand for all Student Reps, for UTAR at least, we are definitely giving our very best. Some circumstances that most students can't see, we take it all in. We attempt many things, take a whole lot of risks just to come up with more fresh ideas for the benefit of students. And often, we have our own reason for the implementation of most things. I would say that seeing and judging from the outside doesn't make you smarter or better than any of us. Now, I find what Dr. Ng Yen Yen said being very true: "People who think they know everything are the people who know nothing and the people who think they know nothing have greater minds" After my past experiences in dealing with people, I often come to the point where this statement stands true all the time.

Haha... So what I'm trying to say is, watch out people cause we're going to sweep you off your feet with the things that we're about to bring to your attention.

Time to dead sleep again...