heaven knows

*slight deviation from the time-off from the blogging world*

First day/night of CNY...

You know, you'd think that the 1st day of CNY is suppose to be a happy day and all...but no...things had to turn a little sour. For just 1 little incident and the whole day is gone...pfft~!! It just ticked off all the bad sense it has to offer that I'm resorting to watching Russell Peters on YouTube to give me some sort of entertainment and hopefully some laughter.

And there I was thinking that the 1 week break would do some good. Well...it's going to be mentally damaging soon enough. Better hit the books while my mind's still hot with some sort of determination.

Unfortunately... I've got some planning to do to work out my study schedule for this holiday. Apparently I'm booked almost everyday of the week throughout this 1 week of holiday. Interesting... I would definitely hate to hear anyone saying that I'm free or have nothing to do. Then I might just throw all the books that I have to that person's face and wouldn't care less if they end up dead or alive.

And I just recently got an interesting question from someone... "where do I take number to make an appointment in your schedule?" Not that bad yet people. If it's that bad, I'll appoint a Personal Assistant (PA), provided that I can afford 1. I need a minimum 1 day notice only... Spontaneity works as well but I wouldn't guaranttee that I'll be there physically and mentally.

Plus, I just realised that with the coming "age"... I definitely need more sleep for my brain to continue it's normal function. Lack of sleep nowadays only results in higher levels of brain damage and causes my concentration in all things to go off track. So yeah... not wise to tell me to sacrifice my sleep either. Who knows what I might end up doing subconciously. I doubt it'll be something to watch.

Anyhows, am currently considering my options for my next semester convenience. Will it be for better or for worse...???

Woah...it's been quite a few days since I last blogged. Seems pretty long enough for me.

Anyways, with the semester started and all, things have been rather busy these days. Trying to cope up with the academic stuff and also student council work. Some days are better or worse than the others of course...the waves of life.

Seeing that quite some things have happened the past few weeks, I think I'm going to take off from the blogging world for a bit. I guess it's better to shut off some things and also some people to avoid any further unwanted complications. For all I know and for all I care, those people might be reading this... but like I said, I couldn't care less. It's what I'd like to emphasize as the freedom of speech.

First of all, as much as I can be kind and nice, I have a natural characteristic that "bites" people. So yeah...not good to underestimate me.

Apparently, I appear as a stuck up girl to some if I don't speak or don't smile...and that directly intimidates people. Well...no argument there. Proud to look stuck up and act stuck up whenever I can...so it's not a big deal.

I would blog more if and only if I had more time. But now time is scarce. I'm trying to finish the last book that I'm reading as fast as possible so that I can get started on studying already. But I think it would take another 1 and half days or so judging from my "schedule".

I think... I'll survive after all. With committees like mine, who wouldn't?? Truthfully, I couldn't ask for more. What more could I want when I have committees... no, more like friends, who stick by me through thick and thin and understand so clearly what I go through?

This is a tribute to my FES SRC committee members.

I never thought that they would do such a thing. Even more, I never thought that they could see through and understand what is going on behind everything. I try my best to carry what I can and to take in what I have to so that it wouldn't pass on to my committees to bear. But still, these monkeys of mine saw everything.

These are the monkeys that are able to make me laugh whenever and wherever. And try their best to help me cancel out negative thoughts and emotions from myself...and do monkey stuff with me too. No doubt, we have our ups and downs...mostly, 97% ups... but I think we made it pretty well so far as a team.

Credit goes out to all my committee members/friends without whom, I would not be able to walk this journey to the point where I am right now.

Prepare for yet another unofficial committee trip on Friday!! So looking forward to it.

And also... a whole lot of gratitude goes out to the PJ boss, the Sg Long tauke look-a-like, and also to the Kampar girly who called me and told me she misses me. Wakakaka....

2nd day of class in this Moo Moo year. It is the Moo Moo year right...??

Anyhoo, the 1st day of class was utterly boring. Lessons started already. The idea of lectures actually starting on the 1st class itself hasn't quite sink into me yet. Not even after like 3 semesters. First class was a lab class. The lecturer said that it's going to be a very short and brief intro. But thanks to all the grandfather and grandmother stories, it dragged on more than 1 hour.

Then today, came another class. The lecturer for that subject is now known to me as the K-man (not in a bad way/meaning). Reason is, the word/letter "K" is always at the edge of his mouth. He can't last 5 seconds without mentioning the word/letter "K". It just makes it hard to concentrate... yeesh

And here, is where the freedom of speech comes in.... [highly uncensored version]

First and foremost, it started out with what was seen as FRIENDS. It went on and on. I even got to a point where I tried my best to tell out the good side of HIM to others who saw a different view. Then things took a turn. But I still stuck as FRIENDS cause I believe in separating both issues eventhough I don't agree with some things. Even till the very end, after things flipped upside down, I trusted myself to be the FRIEND that I was.

But not until the shittiest thing happened....

Which part of "I WAS NOT PART OF THE DECISION" did YOU not fucking understand? Is your England that poor that you do not understand simple MANGLISH? All the bullshit about being unethical and making a mistake was unneccesary. And after all that, that so called FRIENDSHIP is nothing to me. Who the fuck do YOU think you are?? Only YOU would be so immature and childish to still use the "I dowan to friend you" gimmick. I did not avoid YOU because I'm feeling guilty. It's because I prefer not to have to deal with YOU just right after everyone else made the decision cause YOU WOULD FUCKING THINK I DID IT. If I was cold-blooded, I would look YOU in the eye on that very day and laugh the shit out of YOU. Don't take the act of humanitarian as guilt.

Stepping on a land without first knowing that it was formally a landmine area will get you killed

I never thought I'd see the day that so many irrational people will gather at 1 place at the same time.

You'd think that students at the age that they would qualify to enter university, would have the correct mindset and would not have to depend on their parents anymore (except financial stuff). But tonight was an eye opener.

Apparently so many years of education has gone to waste when it got clouded by the one thing called STUPIDITY. How uncivilised can people get? Can't they understand simple explanation and also accept that they were actually too late? Not to mention that yelling and shouting will not solve anything. This black incident happened tonight in FES. I saw so many unreasonable people that shouted their lungs out at what they perceive as correct. Like duh...how would shouting at me and trying to reason with me help the situation??

And I wasn't aware that the meaning of RUDE has changed in the dictionary. Talking in polite, well-toned manner is RUDE. New meaning to the word RUDE people...learn that.

With everything that happened tonight, truthfully, I've tolerated all I can. Take in all that I'm able to. What else do YOU want from me?? Even when I'm not the person that made the decision, I'm being blamed for it. And this isn't referring to a sole incident... Yeah, now being blamed and scolded for something that I had no part in, is highly interesting and FUN.

Welcome Freshmen Concert of January Intake 2009 is over!! Relieved. After all the hard work from the committee, at least it paid off more or less. I wouldn't want to take any credit, all I did was the paperworks and to pull everything together. So yeah...not much done by me. Credits to the programme, technical and also PR department for giving their very best.

Apparently, there's this FELLA who thinks that the show and the overall planning wasn't good enough. For your info, I know who is that but no point revealing who is that here.
Anyways, this FELLA thought that our planning wasn't good, commented on the programme flow and even commented on what I wear. Interesting... To my defense and also my committees'...

1) The whole event was put together in less than a months time.
2) Due to certain requirements of our programme, we needed to have it in the hall.
3) It was impossible to prepare chairs for the VIPs to sit on the lowest level. (what?? are you F***ing blind throughout the show??)
4) The president only changed his mind and decided to come on that morning itself.
5) How the F*** am I suppose to know that president's coming when he said he's not coming? And how am I suppose to get a change of clothes in that rush hour when I'm needed there?
6) This was suppose to be an INFORMAL event so wearing full formal with blazer is not compulsary.
7) If that FELLA regards herself as very experienced and has HELPED in a lot of events before, by all means, go ahead and organize it.
8) If you want to comment on the event so badly, for heaven's sake, get better and readable England. It was a sore reading the pesky little paper with highly DAMAGED, not even broken, english
9) I don't care who is reading this or if that FELLA is reading this... but... Who the F*** are you to tell me what to do?

note: I'm in a position where I'm not the SR of my Uni currently because I'm OUT OF CAMPUS GROUNDS. Therefore I'm entitled to say whatever I want to. It's called freedom of speech.

2nd note: I'm not in an angry mood because of this. If I was, it would have been yesterday and that FELLA would get a piece of my mind cause I know who is it. But, event was a success to me, so...screw YOU.

Yesterday, was somewhat a weird day. Morning and night something happened...something accidental.

In the morning, while I was walking to the hall, a lizard fell on my hand. I'm super terrified when lizards come near me. But amazingly, I didn't scream even though I got a shock and was terrified still... Stupid lizard!!

At night, when I was at home and playing with my dog, came accidental incident No. 2. While I was bending down with my head facing my dog, she turned and her head smacked right onto my right jaw and I swear I felt my jaw sort of dislocated slightly to the left. Now I can barely open my mouth wider than I'm supposed to when talking, or even clench my teeth on the left side. At least there's no swelling and there's no sign of any disfigurement of my lower jaw. Not like disfigurement will matter anyway. I'll just never go out in public again that's all. Sigh....

Done with the book that I've been reading the past few days. Truly an amazing story.

I can't remember the last time I read a book that is non-academic related. That has got to be some years back. But I've got to admit, I finished this book pretty fast for my own record. I took less than a week, constantly keeping in mind that I'm not going to have time soon to read it. Planning to get the sequel to it but am wondering when will I get the time to read it.

I can't imagine. 1 year ago, I couldn't imagine at all that this would happen. Well, at least not to me. I visualised it happening to some other people but me. But now that this is happening, I have to ask myself the same stupid question, "why is this happening?" Of course, that's not a very good or smart question to ask cause it's a retaliating question. That's why I labeled it as a stupid question. However, it still goes on....

With the upcoming crazy semester, I really can't foresee the things that will happen along the way. According to some of the seniors, this semester is the determining semester. It determines whether you're "qualified" to stay or not in the course. Interesting isn't it? I'm just hoping that I won't trip while I'm at it. I'm like living in denial recently cause I'm still refusing to accept the hecticness and everything that comes with it.
I need to scream...
I need my Kiwi Loh...
I need my holiday BACK...
I need my dream to keep me asleep...
I need my bear...
I most importantly need my sanity and my mind to prevent a massacre...

Apart from that, I've got some serious adjusting to do. As in adjust my biological clock. Thanks to all the madness going on around, I normally squeeze in whatever free time that I have to hibernate. I think there's a need to shut off from everything every now and then. It's vital.

Right now, body oh body, please don't fail me. Please be good and don't fall sick.