heaven knows

I've been doing nothing the whole day!!! OMG~!! This is so not good. I've only done some housework. Oh swt...now to make up for it by sleeping less. *sobs sobs*

I sort of ffk-ed for the seminar thingy in Sunway today...and dragged Aggie and Edna with me (Yes I admit!!!...not being proud about it). No point giving my reason here cause it sounds just irrational.

Anyhows, half of my day went to fiddling with my laptop for no apparent reason. While waiting for my Heroes Season 3 downloads on my desktop, I suddenly had the urge to play with this Speech Recognition thing in my laptop. Turns out to be quite fascinating...for a simple and damaged mind like mine. Yes, it was FASCINATING. Talking to the computer like it's a dog, giving instructions and expect it to read your mind, what you want and obey. Pretty stupid but technology hasn't quite perfected this part of the computer yet. At least not for mine. After a series of mistakes that came out after me giving ORDERS, I finally gave up trying so PATHETICLY hard to get it right.

Then, I found the next thing to keep me away from all my piling work... New season of America's Next Top Model. Pfft~!!!
Note: I do not aspire to be a model for God knows and everyone knows that I'm incapable of that other than being tall. I just like watching the drama that goes on every season.
So there goes another few hours. And finally, now I'm trying to do my report with distractions still. It's called the mind now.

I seriously think something is wrong with my brain already. I can barely process anything other than books and all the dumb facts. Which leads to either my lack of talking or the stupid and mindless things that just blurt out of my mouth without control. Things are getting pretty crazy now. And I think sleep is not really helping as well. What else can I do??? -no idea-

"It tears me up,
I try to hold on but it hurts too much,
I try to forgive but it's not enough,
To make it all okay..."
*especially for some special people...yes, just like it says *

Urgh~ These past few days has had its effects on me. First of all, one of the days really made me see that all my studying so hard is not worth anything. Why?? You wanna know the good reason WHY?! Cause some people just conveniently copy for the tests and get high marks plus bragging rights. So why am I studying my mind, health, and heart out for those tests?

That's cause I still have my own integrity, dignity and conscience to sustain!! And God knows those aren't the things that will give me my CGPA at the end of the day!!! Talk about being ETHICAL.

So I guess society nowadays just don't give two cents about any of those anymore. Everyone's conscience is so darn THIN. They're so easily broken.
Yes, everyone else's conscience are made from thin glass and mine's made from some solid die hard, bullet proof fibre glass. *pfft~!!*

*faints*

Now back to finishing my report which could have been done in 1hours time without any delays and distraction.