heaven knows

Today is one of those days where I just feel down the moment I woke up from sleep. One of those unusual day where I think about things more than the other days.

Uncertainty... the main question that swivels in thou's brain.

I'm hoping that fast and more jovial songs will help turn this down-ness around, but so far it is not working still.... I'm going to bed down and moody =(

*note: this has nothing to do with the previous day

Today is indeed an.....interesting day. I bet those who was there will agree.

First things first.... I have been a kuli for 2 days already. That's why I wasn't online if some of you were wondering or I did not reply any emails. I have been helping my parents to paint the rooms including my own and tomorrow will be another day of kuli work. But, the interesting part is just about to start.

Me, Kah Yee and Kelvin went to Sg. Long at night for UTAR Ball meeting. Remember how our stomachs "growl" Kah Yee?? So... we had our "INTERESTING & FUN-FILLED" meeting. Then we headed for a mamak session. After that.... *crash*. There goes my car window. Someone broke my car window and stole Kelvin's bag. So we went to the forever useless police. Now I wonder why we bothered wasting our time there also. Couldn't even report cause the "investigating officer" is in Kajang. Fly kite la go there.... So we just decided to go back home. Ivan helped me fetch Kah Yee home.

But 1st, we stopped in Carrefour Subang to let Kelvin pick up his car. 2nd unfortunate event. All of Carrefour's grills/shutters were down. The only way in and out is closed. So GG lo...what else? Ivan have to send Kah Yee home then send Kelvin home too.

Really a series of unfortunate events. But it's ok... We still had a fun time laughing and joking in the car. Great that we got to know more people too... Can laugh more. Hehe... Laughing is essential...so is pork (*internal joke)

*Thx so much to Ivan for helping me quite a lot tonight.

I was dead SICK yesterday!!! Sick until the only time that I got out of bed was to go to the toilet to vomit. Who would have imagined the effects of food poisoning to be so "GREAT". Trust me, it was the worse experience of food poisoning that I've gotten. I couldn't eat, even drinking water was a problem cause I can't get myself to swallow the water. Even after swallowing the water, it's bound to come out again. So yeah... I was pretty much dehydrated to the maximum.

At first, I only felt discomfort and thought it was nothing. Then, I starting moaning to my mom and she didn't believe me. Not till.... I vomited.

No energy at all this morning. Dragged my feet out of bed, went downstairs to TRY to make myself feel better. But... I slept on the sofa again. For like another 2-3 hours. Haha... Could barely eat still today, but got myself to eat a bit or else I would be pretty much dead-like for not eating for 2 days. Currently recuperating...

Today...no, more like last night, was the dinner celebration for my grandma's birthday. She's 89 this year I think. Haha... Yeah, I can't really remember how old is she. Either 89 or 90 years old this year. Sorry, no pics of the dinner. Family not a big fan of taking pics.


Before the dinner, my family brought my grandma from the retirement home back to my home first. She mentioned to us that one of the old grandpa there passed away just few days ago. Then, I remember her asking me the previous time when am I graduating. That was like about a month back only. Of course I told her that it won't be so soon. Then she replied me saying that she hope she can make it to see me graduate. OMG... I almost teared and cried. Today brought back that feeling cause I just have that feeling that she's just waiting there in the retirement home for her time to come. This makes me want to push myself in everything more... *sobs sobs*


Aside that. When we were on our way to go pick up my grandma, there was a miserable jam at the traffic lights near Summit, the ones that head towards the highways and out of USJ. Due to the rain, the traffic lights malfunctioned. They keep flickering yellow and red. So all the drivers drove like 3rd world mentality people did. They drove with no compromise. In the end, all the cars were stuck around a small area because the traffic goes round and it's a chain effect. Everyone refused to back up and it was so obvious that if no one took the initiative to reverse to let one side go, the traffic will not move at all.


This was the situation...
So as you can see, it's like a jammed up circle. (forgive my drawing =p) The situation got a bit tensed after a while when everyone noticed that no one was going anywhere because no one was willing to move. Everyone started honning... like that will do anything. So... I went out of the car and wanted to approach the cars in front of us to ask if they can compromise a bit and reverse so that we can at least get the traffic to move. But... dad yelled for me to get back into the car.

BUT... I think me doing so got people to realise that they needed to do something as well. And after arguing with my dad for quite a while, I finally reasoned with him for him to be the 1st to get out of the car and talk to the drivers in front to compromise. Then, other people started coming out of their cars too. And finally, the traffic started moving again.


In this situation, I feel both disappointed and a bit happy.

Disappointed because my own dad insisted on waiting for others to make the 1st move to discuss with the drivers to ask them to compromise. He waited until I decided to do something due to fed up-ness of 3rd world mentality.

Happy cause I didn't think I would have the courage to step out of the car to try and do the right thing.


So people, this teaches you not to always wait for others to take actions 1st. It wouldn't hurt for you to step up and do something right? Of course, you must know the situation that you are in 1st too. A little courage and a little compromise among all of us will do our society good. It'll definitely give our society the change it needs.

I need to apply the slogan, "You can make a difference" Haha... It's because you truly can. Think about it. If I wait for you, and you wait for another, and another wait for yet another... Then who's going to make the move in the end?? In the end, nothing will be done. Which is excatly what is happening in our country.

We're the next generation right? So do something... not illegal stuff.

The cultural event today went quite well. No doubt there were few bumps here and there due to the miscommunication on the Japanese people's end, but it turned out fine. Thank God for His blessings for smooth program flow for the performances because it was so much better than it was during rehersals.

Today is the day where we really can't understand completely what the other party was saying. It's like the duck talking to the chicken. For all I know, they can never understand each other. But... of course this event has it's own pros. The fact is... although the students are high school students and obviously they are very much younger than us (about 16-17 yrs old), the guys are cute. Haha!!! That's right. Plus, they have their own style in fashion and hairstyles, which looks pretty nice. Anytime better than those "lala" fashion that is happening around us. Next time, take a visit to Japan and have a look for yourself. Japan will be the ideal place to wash your eyes for both girls and guys. Trust me.

And so, that concludes the day today. My feet are killing me thanks to walking around in heels the whole day. Crazy...

And so, we'll be having a Cultural Event tomorrow for the Japanese students who are visiting UTAR tomorrow. Hopefully all goes well. The committee has put in so much effort into it and Kudos to them. The preparations really looks great. We'll see what happens tomorrow then...

Apparently, I'm out of ideas as to what to blog about. I'm brain dry. Hehe... So I'll just crap after the cultural event tomorrow.

The past few days, due to lack of activities, this gal got herself to reflect and look back on things again. As in everything and every aspect. So, nothing much happened and I wouldn't want to bore anyone with my emo nonsense... Let's keep that where it should be, which is untold and unknown to others.

And so, I'm out of what I call it the "shit hole".

Now, why is it called a "shit hole". The main reason is because of its people. Due to the fact that the people that work there are undescribably "nice and smart", the place turns into what is known as the "shit hole".

Okay. Back to the point. It is momentary joy to be out of that place. Can't believe I wasted my time there, even if it's only 2 days. Let me describe what happened...

the dumbnut head of department:
Day 1: " The head of department is not in la. She's on leave until thursday. I will split you both into departments. You don't touch anything and don't disturb my staff also."

Note: The person who said that the head of department isn't in, is actually the head of department.

Day 4 (today): "We are not responsible to prepare your learning schedule. It should come from your university. If they want you to learn, they should send an officer with you to come here (the hospital). We are not paid to teach you. Your purpose here should be to learn of and experience the working environment only, not to do hands on work. You can only look at what they do and ask questions if you want to. But my staff don't need to teach you. It is government policy that the students can not touch anything. You should have known when you apply."

Note: How in the world am I suppose to know the government policy when I'm not working there? Does it make sense?

So yeah, what's the point of being there? Wasting toll money, petrol money, food money, and most important thing of all, my time!! But, thanks to the nice girl which I got to know there, the only chinese girl in the micro lab, I got to secretly do some work and play with some of the stuff. It is only today, after I hand in my withdrawal letter, that I got to do more work. Seriously speechless about that place.

Lesson is.... government bodies/institutions are unreliable and a waste of time. They waste tax payers' money too. The Head of Department, a Pathologist, gets paid RM 10k per month to just sit there and look at slides occasionally. Isn't life "great" for them and us??

So, results are out. Wasn't what I expected. For some subjects, I expected worse but I got much better. For those which I squeezed my brains dry on it, I got lesser than what I expected. So I don't really know what to think of it and what to think of myself. Feel very very much stupid and disappointed.

But, life goes on, and tomorrow is yet another day. Have to keep striving and hopefully it gets somewhere soon...like really really soon.

Although I'm not attached for placement anymore, but I still do have a job. Homebased job..which is good. I get money...for me to splurge when I'm unhappy, then I get fat again. Anyways, hoping to get another one so that I can save up enough to fund my Singapore trip plan next year. Have to be independent in everything now that I'm of the legal age. Sudden OLD feeling...sad.

Ok, I won't talk about my "training" today. It's simply boring to the point where it is undescribable.

Music.... makes the world go round. Hehe... At least it makes MY world go round. Without music, I'll be pretty dead.

And... I so so love these songs now... Truly beautiful and touching...

The Man Who Can't Be Moved - The Script
"Going back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag, I'm not gonna move
Got some words on cardboard, got you picture in my hand
Saying if you see this girl, can you tell her where I am
Some trying to hand me money, they don't understand
I'm not broke, I'm just a broken hearted man
I know it makes no sense but what else can I do
How can I move on when I'm still in love with you..."

Come On Get Higher - Matt Nathanson
"I miss the sound of your voice
I miss the rush of your skin
I miss the still of the silence
As you breathe in and I breathe out
If I could walk on water
If I could tell you what's next
Make you believe
Make you forget..."

Well, there's more actually, but they're old songs. Those 2 are the new songs. Hehe...

I just realised that I've "stolen" and downloaded quite a number of dramas and movies into my external hard disk and laptop that I've not touch or seen till now. Well well... marathon. Hehe...

Oh no!! Results will be out soon. Like really really soon.... High blood pressure, leading to angina, leading to myocardial infarction when I see the results. Oh God... All the best to those taking results soon also.

Today is the first day of training....

I need to start it off by saying that I made the wrong decision to enter Putrajaya Hospital. No doubt they have some cool equipment there that I've not seen before. But the people there have are not friendly. Sigh... How can I get myself out of this placement? Or do I have to just suffer the 3 months?? Thinking of it makes me sad...like really sad till wanna cry kind of sad. I literally yawned the whole day through due to boredom. Yawn until now jaw tired and pain already.

I don't wanna go back tomorrow....... *sobs sobs*

Okay... The day today (Tuesday) was rather plain. I just sat at home the whole day. Woke up early in the morning to drive dad to work and then it was back home to do some house work and then lay on my sofa and get stuck there the whole day. Yeah, I'm that lazy. I vow to go on some kind of diet. But still I'm eating nonsense once in a while. Can't resist temptation... lack of determination.

Finally just now, like finally of all the finallys.... I've cleaned up my messy table. It'll be messy again when the semester starts back. It has become a norm. Sigh...

Normally, I don't like to stop, sit down at home and not do anything. It's cause, it gets me to think of all the nonsense I can and it is not good for health seriously. However, today's different.... finally again =p Instead of nonsense, I started to notice the things that I've been liking all the while but just haven't got the time to notice it.

So here they are:.....my loves =)
a) definite love for travelling. in town or out, still love it, but have more love for out of town places =)
b) spending time around my dogs....haha...yeah.
c) cute fluff toys. (normal right?)
d) finding good food and splurge on them
e) to lie down anywhere comfortable and not move for the rest of the day
f) scout and hunt down good music
g) random dancing
h) spontaneous actions or activites or plans
i) swimming
j) shoe shopping... Lol!!
k) doing silly things when no one's around
l) capturing random beautiful moments with my faithful W810i
m) SLEEP!!!
n) being around close friends

Okay, there's more actually. But no point further boring people with it. I'm sleepy again although I slept in the afternoon...haha!! Time to sleep.