I don't like this feeling. Seriously I don't. Explaining what feeling that is would not really give you the clear picture either unless you're feeling it too. I wish I could explain it to myself. Why can't I?! Am engulfed in frustration now. Frustrated at a lot of things, most of the things around. I can't control it.
I'm oUt Of cOntRoL.......cAn't cOntRoL MysElF......
Emotions fluctuate like crazy. And during the times when they don't, I'm emotionless. Swt. I sound rather robotic. The emotionless part is the functioning period. The fluctuating part is the malfunction period. Man it's crazy.
Pondering what to do. What's my next step?? Where do I go from here?? What am I going to do?? It's all a big blur now. Blur, blur, blurrr......
I don't want to be trapped in a whole lot of "if onlys" and "what ifs".
I'm running this race like a blind person without a guiding stick.
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